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in other news, poker night!

To: poker-night
From: electroblake
Subject: in other news, poker night!
Date: Thu, 5 Jul 2007 20:25:27 -0400

Once upon a time in a land far far away there lived a frog and a
spider. No wait, that story sucks. How about in Space, there are
these robots, and they are out to mess shit up, because they are bad
ass space robots, and also they are from the future. Watch out, this
story is going to involve robots having sexual relations with each

One of the bad ass space robots from the future was named Voltron,
and Voltron was madly in love with another one of the bad ass space
robots from the future, who’s name was The Deceptacons, but The
Deceptacons did not love Voltron back, because The Deceptacons was
not gay, like Voltron was, and also they were both dudes. Voltron,
however, did not easily get the hint that The Deceptacons was not
interested in a robomantic relationship due to the fact of The
Deceptacons not being gay and also a dude, and Voltron continued to
do the kinds of things that bad ass space robots from the future do
as part of their courting rituals towards The Deceptacons. For
example, Voltron would tell the Deceptacons that he thought that The
Deceptacons had pretty robot eyes and would buy The Deceptacons roses
and invite him over for dinner and a movie which was usually
something like “Philadelphia” or “Thelma and Louise:”

At first The Deceptacons found this behavior from Voltron to be
flattering, but after a while it started to interfere with his social
life. The Deceptacons found himself avoiding the places that Voltron
liked to hang out, such as the Space Robot Tavern of Complexity and
Big Al’s Bowling Ally for Robots. He started mostly just staying at
home. The Deceptacons friends started to worry about him, and two of
his friends, The Terminator and Ominibot 2000 came up with a plan.
Ominibot 2000 knew these fem-bots who liked to party and he and The
Terminator thought that it would do their buddy The Deceptacons some
good to get some nice straight fem-bot action and if it just so happened
that Voltron walked in on the action and saw The Deceptacons getting nasty
with two or three beautiful fem-bots then maybe he would get it into
his thick processor that The Deceptacons was not gay and not interested
in a robomantic relationship with Voltron.

The Terminator and Ominibot 2000 drafted a plan to set up their
friend The Deceptacons on a blind date with this one fem-bot Ominibot
2000 knew named Alanis Morrisette who had confided a secret crush on
The Deceptacons to Ominibot 2000 some time ago. Further, after dinner
The Decpeacons and Alanis would happen to bump into 7 of 9 and R2D2,
who were a lesbian couple who were into having sexual relations with
other couples and who were good friends (very good friends) with
Alanis Morrisette. According to The Terminator and Ominibot 2000’s plan,
The Deceptacons and Alanis Morrisette would be heading for The Robot Romp
bar and dance hall and 7 of 9 and R2D2 would just happen to be heading that
way as well. They would walk together and when they got to The Robot Romp
7 of 9 and R2D2 would get free drinks for the four of them because they
were friends with the bartender. Later, they would all head up to
R2D2’s apartment, which was located two floors above the Romp, and
they would engage in a foursome, which as far as The Deceptacons knew
would be solely the result of his robomasculinity in the presence of three
beautiful fem-bots. What The Deceptacons wouldn’t know was that R2D2 is
Voltron’s sister and it would also be her birthday and she had told Voltron
that what she really wanted for her birthday was a big birthday cake and a
bottle of rum to be consumed late that night after she had gotten back from
the dance hall.

The plan worked great. The Deceptacons thought he was the robot mack-
daddy as he started getting it on with Alanis Morrisette, 7 of 9, and R2D2;
three beautiful fem-bots in R2D2’s swank downtown apartment. When
Voltron burst in with a big birthday cake and a bottle of rum while
yelling “SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” over the pumping techno dance
music pouring out of R2D2’s stereo he was too busy taking care of
three pairs of robot boobs to really even notice or care and Voltron was
blown away by seeing his crush in the buff pumping his body to the beat
with the fem-bots all moaning and groaning around him. Thinking that
maybe there was a chance, just a chance, that his sister had asked for her
present to be delivered so late at night was because she knew how badly
he lusted after The Deceptacons and had planned on seducing Voltron for
him, Voltron decided to join in the action.

Later that night, while they were eating the cake and drinking the
rum, the five sex-stained bad ass space robots from the future all
agreed that the evening had been a lot of fun, and The Deceptacons
even said that butt sex wasn’t as painful as he had thought that it
would be, and hell, maybe it made him a little bit gay, but he even
kind of liked it. Voltron blushed and they all had a good laugh.
They all agreed that they should do it again sometime, but
unfortunately then their building was blown away by Space Hurricane
Katrina and then they were all transported to the Magical Land of Oz
and they were all made into flying monkeys and then they had no
desire to have sex with each other anymore because flying monkeys are
so ugly.

That is why tonight is Pokernight.

because flying monkeys are so ugly.

XX Xxxxxxxxx Xx. #X

“first hand at nine”

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