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poker night is never having to say you’re sorry

Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2004 20:35:32 -0400
To: poker-night
Subject: poker night is never having to say you’re sorry
From: surreal

as blake is wont to say “never ever ever ever ever ever give up.  never
give up.  never give up.”  inherent in this philosophy is the idea that
you never ever ever ever ever ever say you’re sorry.  never say you’re

the basic premise behind this line of thought is that apologizing is
for pussies.  it’s right up there with regret and self-denial.  your
grandma says she’s sorry.  mine doesn’t.  that’s one small part of
what makes me better than you.  a very small part.  there’s also the
fact that i’m cuter, cooler, and more fun.  i could go on, but i think
you get the point.  more importantly, i don’t have the patience to
spell it out for you, genius.

i am reminded of the story of how depeche mode met a bottle of whiskey.
it’s a long and involved tale, which i’m sure you’re all familiar with
but the point is, the bottle of whiskey ended up kicking all of their
asses.  and why?  because it didn’t give up.  and it sure as hell didn’t
apologize.  it went out and kicked the asses of many a rock and roll
superstar and then trashed their equipment.  and who’s more famous now?
i rest my case.

god doesn’t like people who say they’re sorry, zoz.  he just plain
doesn’t like it.  he smites them.  god helps those who help themselves
and go back for seconds.  i don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors,
but the truth ain’t blasphemy, friend, and the truth is that god hates
most of you because you’re weak.

i’d apologize, but i’m not sorry.  deal with it.

(yeah, that’s in half an hour; wanna make something of it?)
bring booze and leave your weak-ass apologies on the doorstep.

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