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About a Boy Poker Night

To: poker-night
From: blake
Subject: About a Boy Poker Night
Date: Thu, 27 May 2004 02:11:23 -0400

Billy used to think people were always watching him.  For a while it
was all cool.  He was like, yeah, I’m a star!  But then he got to
feeling like people were judging him by the size of his little guy
every time he had to go pee or make it with a lady.  Or masturbate.  Or
just get it out to look at.  Sometimes there was cutting.  blood all
over the place.

Billy had some problems.  Paranoia.  And space aliens.  Ones who made
him do things.  They showed themselves, every now and again, at
parties, and sometimes after church, in the parking lot, taking the
form of Honda Civics and telling him he should burn down the church.
Billy didn’t mind the aliens so much.  They were good company.  And
lord knows the world won’t miss a few churches.

Actually Billy never made it with a lady.  That was a lie.  Sometimes
he told the aliens that he did make it with a lady, but he was lying.
Billy’s a big fat lier.

Some people say that burning down churches was Billy’s way of crying
out for help.  Billy’s mother said that.  Billy’s sister said he just
did it for attention.  Billy’s sister is a slut.  She makes it with the
boys all the time.  Billy knows.  He has a web cam in her room.
Billy’s sister even makes it with the ladies sometimes.  Sometimes
Billy’s sister makes it with the boys and ladies all at the same time,
and then it’s loud and Billy can’t sleep because her room is next to
his and there’s lots of thumping.

Billy is 23 years old.  His mother died when their church burnt down
when Billy was 15.  It was Billy’s fourth.  Billy’s father was a mean
alcoholic who would have beaten him all the time except that he was too
drunk and lazy to give a shit.  One time Billy saw his father make it
with his sister.  Billy thought that was unfair.

Billy’s not really fat.

One day Billy was running around the church parking lot screaming and
screaming while the whole church burnt down.  He ran around the church
seven times and then flew off down the street, waving his arms over his
head, little droplets of spittle gleaming in the Sunday morning sun.
All the dogs were his best friends.  Giant rats came out of nowhere and
tried to fight with him but he used his microwave vision to boil the
insides of their eyes and then jumped way higher than anyone had ever
jumped before and then he was on the moon and it was christmas and
nobody had gotten him any presents at all and billy was sad sad sad sad
sad but then he beat up all the other kids and took all their presents
and then he went to the north pole and partied all night and all day
with SANTA CLAUS!

Billy never, ever came to Poker Night.

Tonight.

Thursday.

DangerHaus.

First hand no earlier than nine, damnit.

bring booze.

damnit.

DangerHaus is
XX XXXXXXXXX XX #X

in Somerville:  “Somerville, Home of DangerHouse!”

also, kittens.

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