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Robotic Poker Night Huge Success!

Date: Thu, 5 Feb 2004 17:46:58 -0500
Subject: Robotic Poker Night Huge Success!
From: blake
To: poker-night

I’d often felt like Peas and Carrots were related to each other
somehow, but no once could explain to me how.  How!  How were they
related?  Obviously, they are both things that you can eat, as a side
dish, at a fancy sort of dinner, as in more than ramen or toast and
eggs.  Some people claim that they are both plants, or come from
plants, in some fashion, but I know better than that.  Carrots come
from space.  Everyone knows that.  That’s why they’re shaped the way
they are, rocket shaped.  Probably some kind of alien spore, really.
That’s why they are found under ground, when they come plunging out of
deep space cutting through the atmosphere at break neck speeds they end
up plunging into the earth and lodging themselves into the dirt, if
they are lucky.  I understand a great number of them end up in the
ocean.  The truth!  I know why Peas and Carrots are related!  No, no,
wait.  I forgot.  I think it has something to do with atomic energy.
No, it’s probably just the dinner thing.

Also, they can both be found in your grocer’s frozen foods section.
Along side bricks of spinach and bags of loose kernels of frozen corn.

Carrots are probably most closely related to mushrooms, which are also
from space.  Only, mushrooms don’t grow in space, or at least they
don’t fall to the earth fully developed like carrots do (no one knows
if the carrots actually grow in outer space, or if they are grown in
some other sort of extra terrestrial environment and hurled at the
earth like so many robotic landers).  The secret of the mushrooms is
that each mushroom is actually a colony of very small aliens, who
travel between the stars in what we humans call “spores” which is a
shortened form of “SPaceship cORE unitS,” a label given to them by the
ancient Egyptians, who liked to make make up all kinds of stories like
the one about the dead people living eternally in their bottoms of
their pyramids with a bunch of rocks to keep them company and all the
gold a dead guy could ever want.  So what happens if the spaceship core
unit lands on earth after traveling through space for quite some time
and the little aliens get out, stretch their legs, and start building a
futuristic city that a lot of people confuse with something they should
put on a sandwich or slice up as a pizza topping.   This makes the
other alien cities really mad at mankind, and causes them to release
plagues upon us like mold on our bread and yeast infections and other
fun stuff.  Of course, being the clever indigenous life forms that we
are, we’ve managed to take some of these biological weapons that the
pesky fungus aliens have smitten us with and learned to go and turn
perfectly ordinary and terrestrial sugar compounds into beer, gin,
whiskey, and some other forms scarcely worth mentioning.

Ever notice that the carrots have been getting bigger recently?

Oh yes, and thanks to everyone who helped make Robotic Poker Night such
a huge success!  You are all super.  Now let’s all be sure to smash
those data crystals, and get yourself ready for

Human Poker Night!
Tonight!
DangerHaus!
“first hand at nine”

DangerHaus is XX XXXXXXXXX XX. #X in mildly pleasant Somerville, MA!

DangerWishList:

gin, vodka, beer, gin, olives, fly girls, plasma cutter, girls with
gin, vermiculite, male-male DB9 cable, beer, more super human powers.

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