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poker night will rule you all!

Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2003 18:36:03 -0500
Subject: poker night will rule you all!
From: blake
To: poker-night

A lot of people I know have said that there is nothing scarier than a
bear riding a shark.  Or maybe it was a shark riding a bear, that way
it would be mobile on land, or maybe just the bear-shark combination,
the dynamic duo that can eat you on land or at sea.  I think the
bear-shark would be a lot scarier if it owned its own private jet.
Then it could kill in the air as well.  Or, even better, one of those
self powered space suits they’ve got in the science fiction.  I mean,
what could be scarier when you’re out in space, say you’re like
scrubbing the barnacles off of the International Space Station, all
alone in you’re feeble Soviet Russia era space suit that’s held
together mostly by duct tape, and this tiny dot appears to rise from the
Earth.  As it gets closer you can make out that it’s some kind of space
suit, but it’s no human inside.  Oh no, it’s much to big.  Imagine the
terror you’d feel when it finally got close enough that you could see
the faces inside the two helmets and you realize that it’s a bear
riding a shark in outer space.  Oh man you’d be fucked.

Even scarier than the bear shark in outer space, though, is little bugs
that crawl into your ear when you’re asleep and start replacing your
brain cells with their own young and also feces.  You wake up after
sleeping an abnormally long time and you wake up covered in drool and
you can’t remember who or what you are except that you’re in a lot of
pain but you can’t scream and then just before your vision goes you see
these little bugs crawling across the insides of you eyeballs.

Actually, what would be worse than that, I think, would be if there
were some mean guy with some goons who hold you down and force you to
let the little bugs, no let’s make them big bugs, into your ear.  Kinda
like in Star Trek II, The Wrath of Kahn.  Damn that was a good movie.

“first hand at nine.”

Bring booze, or else we’ll sic the bear-shark in a space suit on you.

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