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Special Treat For the Poker People

To: poker-night
From: electroblake
Subject: Special Treat For the Poker People
Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2006 19:01:30 -0500

Dear Pokernighters,

Have we got a special treat for you!  Tonight is poker night!  That
means that you can come to dangerhouse anytime after nine pm and
there is a fair chance that there will be other people around, and
there may even be some people playing poker!  Isn’t that nice?  If
you were to show up and you found that there were people playing
poker then you could probably join them, unless the table is too
full, or unless nobody likes you, but probably at least some people
like you.  Of course, no one says you have to play poker.  You could
always just sit around and socialize with the other people who do not
play poker.  That seems to be a popular thing to do these days.
We’ve also got board games, but nobody ever plays those.  I think
we’ve got Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, Chess, Go, um… Stratego?  We
don’t have Battleship.  But if you really want to play Battleship you
could bring your own board over and maybe you could get someone to
play it with you.  I’m not guaranteeing anything.  I mean, it’s never
happened before.  I’m not even guaranteeing that there will be people
playing poker.  It seems to depend on when you show up these days.
There will probably be drinking, if that’s the sort of thing you’re
into.  I know there is about six liters of vodka left over from Party
Month.  Plus a bunch of other terrible liquor.  Like schnapps.  All
kinds of schnapps.  Please come over and drink our schnapps if you
enjoy drinking schnapps.  I don’t know if there will be beer or
wine.  I know I have no plans to buy any.  I did get cards, though.
But not quarters.  What do you people want from me?  Bring your own
quarters.  Oh, and a neat trick I hear works if you need metal moneys
for to play the game of poker with, use a $20 bill to buy your subway
ticket from one of those horrible machines.  I believe it will give
you back something like 18 dollar coins and three quarter dollar
coins.  Let’s be frank:  the dollar coin is awesome for playing poker
with.  That’s probably its best use.  The idea of buying a cup of
coffee with a single coin is nice, of course, but do you know of
anywhere that has coffee that you’d actually want to drink that costs
less than a dollar a cup?  I think the diesel had one-dollar small
coffees for a long time, but I am not sure they still have that.  I
guess I could go check, as I’m in the diesel now, but that would mean
getting up and going over to look at the menu and I’m pretty
comfortable in this chair so I’ll leave it as an exercise to the
reader to determine if the diesel still offers a one dollar small cup
of coffee.  I got tea, you see.  Not coffee.  Chai spice tea.  It’s
good.

Pokernight!
tonight!
at
Dangerhouse.
“first hand at nine”

dangerhouse is XX XXXXXXXXX XX #X in somerville ma 02144 near the
terrible deadly XXXXXXXXXX roundabout.

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