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Post Atomic Poker Night

To: poker-night
From: electroblake
Subject: Post Atomic Poker Night
Date: Thu, 19 Oct 2006 19:56:31 -0400

Taking shelter during a nuclear attack is absolutely necessary. There

are two kinds of shelters–blast and fallout.

Blast shelters offer some protection against blast pressure, initial
radiation, heat and fire, but even a blast shelter could not
withstand a direct hit from a nuclear detonation.

Fallout shelters do not need to be specially constructed for that
purpose. They can be any protected space, provided that the walls and
roof are thick and dense enough to absorb the radiation given off by
fallout particles. The three protective factors of a fallout shelter
are shielding, distance, and time.

* Shielding. The more heavy, dense materials=97thick walls, concrete,
bricks, books and earth=97between you and the fallout particles, the
better.

* Distance. The more distance between you and the fallout particles,
the better. An underground area, such as a home or office building
basement, offers more protection than the first floor of a building.
A floor near the middle of a high-rise may be better, depending on
what is nearby at that level on which significant fallout particles
would collect. Flat roofs collect fallout particles so the top floor
is not a good choice, nor is a floor adjacent to a neighboring flat
roof.

*  Time. Fallout radiation loses its intensity fairly rapidly. In
time, you will be able to leave the fallout shelter. Radioactive
fallout poses the greatest threat to people during the first two
weeks, by which time it has declined to about 1% of its initial
radiation level

*  Decoration.  Two weeks is a long time to be cooped up in a dank
basement.  Try to brighten up the place with some fancy decor.
Lining the walls with tin foil will not only add glam rock appeal,
but will also help shield your shelter from dangerous radiation and
any remaining government mind control satellites.

*  Power.  Remember that you will need to generate your own
electricity if you want to hang christmas lights or shine a spot
light on the disco ball.  Sing-a-longs are good moral boosters, but
you will probably also want a functional stereo.  Solar panels will
pretty much be useless during the heavy cloud coverage typical of
your average nuclear winter, and burning gasoline inside an enclosed
space is inadvisable.  You should probably either invest in a mid-
range fuel cell or use one of the easy to use instructional pamphlets
available on the internet for instructions on how to turn your
bicycle into a generator.

*  Substances.  If you were ever going to drink yourself to death,
this would probably be a good time.  Unlike bread, man can live on
alcohol alone.  Plan on half a liter of gin per person per day.  You
will probably want a lot of weed as well.  Just stock up on whatever
mind altering substances you can get your hands on.

Remember that any protection, however temporary, is better than none
at all, and the more shielding, distance and time you can take
advantage of, the better.

For more information, please consult a fallout specialist, available
for group consultations tonight only at

Pokernight!

tonight!

dangerhouse.

XXXXXXXXXXXroadnumberXsomervillema02144

large parts of tonight’s pokernight email were lifted off of the
following official American Government web site:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2003/02/20030207-10.html

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