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Happy Beaver Poker Night of Fun

To: poker-night
From: electroblake
Subject: Happy Beaver Poker Night of Fun
Date: Thu, 28 Sep 2006 19:23:03 -0400

“Pardon me, but what are you doing in my car?”

“your car?  Why, what are you talking about?  This is my car.”

“Oh my, I’m afraid you must be terribly confused, for you see, this
is indisputably _my_ car.  You see that stain over there on the
passenger’s seat?  That’s chocolate milkshake from when I was driving
my very smart child home from taking a standardized test which she
ended up doing quite well on and which helped her get into a very
fine school where she met a nice boy whom she didn’t care for all
that much but instead decided, under her own volition, I’m sure, to
run off with a dashing, but ugly, rapscallion who claimed to be a
space traveler.  Or maybe it was a time traveler, god, I don’t
remember.  Anyhow, I nearly killed us both by almost missing our exit
on the parkway and pulling a hard right at the very last second to
cut across three lanes of traffic, causing her to spill the very
beverage we had just acquired for her at the McDonald’s drive
through.  But so you see, this is very clearly my car indeed.”

“I’m sorry dear sir, but you must be out of your head.  That stain is
from my wife and I had just deposited our first born child at the
boarding school and had parked the car at a scenic rest stop and were
overcome by the passions of our still young bodies and made a bit of
a mess on the seat when she experienced her first female ejaculation
which left that very stain which you so disgustingly claim came from
the spillage  of your stupid and likely ugly daughter who is probably
tied up in some suburban basement dungeon somewhere in middle America
learning the proper way to address her boyfriend’s willy.”

“E-gad!  You’re right!  This isn’t my car.  My car is blue.  I’m
sorry.  I do get confused sometimes.  I think it’s because of these
two suns.  Never did get the hang of that, heh?  These kids and their
internet and their robots, you know, enough to drive a man right
kooky.  Do pardon me, I just thought, you know, there is a car, and
you know, I have a car, and I think I parked it somewhere near here,
and there you are, and don’t you think we look somewhat similar?
We’ve both got those funny appendages coming out of the tops of us
with the fingers and the hands, you know.  I guess I thought that
what I saw was, you know, There I was, in my car, so I should go and
join myself and maybe, I don’t know, go for a drive or something.”

“Oh that’s quite alright.  Happens to me all the time.  There was
this one fellow, just the other day, nearly got into a ruffle, the
two of us did, I was so convinced that he was living in my house.
Turns out my house is in Peoria, Illinois, where as his has the same
address, except that it is in Peoria, Arizona.  I don’t even know
what I was doing in Arizona!  Damn nice chap, though, once we settled
that out.”

“Say!  Why I think that was me!  I live in Peoria, Arizona, and had a
fellow barge in who turned out to be a swell guy once we figured out
that he really lived in Peoria, Illinois.  What a funny coincidence!”

“No, no, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t you.  This guy had black hair.”

“Oh, well, I just had mine bleached.”

“Oh really!  My, they did a fantastic job of it.  You can hardly tell
it’s not natural.  I’ll bet that frisky wife of your loves it.”

“Actually, she left me for another man three days ago.”

“What?  She never told me that!”

“You know my wife?”

“No.  no.  I was thinking of something else.  Say, how about a
rousing game of cards?  I know these fellows who throw a very lovely
and tasteful Poker Night every Thursday.”

“Why, that sounds delightful.  Let’s stop at the liquor store on the
way over and pick up some beer.”

“Sounds good, though I think I may get some wine instead.”

“Suite yourself.  By the way, did I mention that I’m a time traveler?”

“You don’t say?  How nice for you.  I’m from space.”

“Ha.  very funny.  Get out.”

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