Split

Split

Is Skinny Blake having separation anxiety issues?  Also, of course he wants a gin and tonic.

If you’re new here, this comic is a good place to start for the current story. Don’t be frightened by the black and whiteness of it, and proceed with brave diligence through the installments that don’t contribute to the storyline. It might be that actually they do in some tricky way and when it becomes important you’ll have to scratch your head a lot and then go back and read through the entire archive again, like how when you realize that one run in Pictures for Sad Children is all a big reference to the Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. So, come to think of it, you should probably just start from the very first comic and take some notes.

For those of you who prefer to read a concise synopsis, here you go: Our hero, Blake, upon discovering that smoking several cigarettes every day could have a negative impact on his respiratory health decided that perhaps the thing that he should do was to stop smoking cigarettes entirely. Our readers who have experience with chemical addictions will be aware that simply removing a substance that one is addicted to from one’s life often results in cravings for the missing substance. Whenever Blake experienced one of these cravings, instead of being sensible and say like meditate or do pull-ups or maybe go and buy a box of that silly gum with the nicotine in it he would eat a tremendous amount of food, usually in the form of bacon cheeseburgers or like a pound of salmon and he would wash it all down with several gin and tonics. Soon, Blake grew to enormous proportions, and lost the ability to communicate verbally to any degree of sophistication. Towering something like 150 feet, and weighing I don’t know like as much as one of those really heavy airplanes Chubby Blake went on a rampage induced by not enough bacon and gin to mask the evil effects of cigarette withdrawal. He drank all the Bombay Sapphire in the city of Boston and left the city in a smoldering pile of ruin as he ventured out into the deep sea to battle the Giant Squid.

Nobody is sure exactly what drove Chubby Blake to battle the Giant Squid, but it probably had something to with Space Leslie, commander of the Rocketship Towers, and her talking boot sidekicks Sondheim (left) and Sarasota (right), who were watching the battle from orbit.

Chubby Blake, of course, had his ass handed to him by Squidface, the Giant Squid, because Chubby Blake was a chubby human trying to fight an animal that is capable of taking out fit and healthy sperm whales and really all the squid had to do was hold Chubby Blake under water long enough because humans require their oxygen in a gaseous form mixed with other inert gasses at a reasonable pressure while squids can just pull dissolved oxygen out of the water but so anyway Squidface won the fight and a passed out Chubby Blake washed up on some tropical island or something. But then! For reasons unknown, Squidface shows up with some martini fixings and revives Chubby Blake, only to have him abducted by Sondheim and Sarasota after all the gin has been consumed and Chubby Blake has passed out.

Waking up aboard the Rocketship Towers, not chubby anymore Blake is somewhat disoriented because Space Leslie has used advanced space technology to separate Skinny Blake from Chubby Blake, like in that old episode of Star Trek where Kirk uses the transporter to separate Good Spock from Evil Spock for activities which I believe ended up being censored.

Now you are caught up. You should probably go read all the other comics anyway.

Also!  New pokernight emails added to the archive:

From: Blake | Subject: Trouble at Poker Night | Date: Thu, 7 Oct 2004 18:08:31 -0400

Date: Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:02:54 -0400 | From: blake | Subject: motivational story involving small woodland creatures Poker Night

Date: Thu, 23 Sep 2004 19:07:11 -0400 | From: blake | Subject: My Poker Night is More Interesting Because it Involves Robots

Date: Thu, 16 Sep 2004 19:06:01 -0400 | From: blake | Subject: Amazing Grace Poker Night

Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2004 20:35:32 -0400 | Subject: poker night is never having to say you’re sorry | From: surreal

From: Blake | Subject: kiss and tell poker night | Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 20:35:59 -0400

Date: Thu, 12 Aug 2004 20:53:08 -0400 | Subject: i’m leaving the country | From: surreal

Subject: you’re probably already on your way to POKER NIGHT | Date: Thu, 29 Jul 2004 20:36:35 | -0400 | From: Matt L.

New Readers: This is a good place to start


oh my goodness purchase these t-shirts quick quick quick!



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